REDDING, CA—Unfortunate Charismatic man Robert Wade reportedly received the “totally boring” gift of hospitality as his God-given spiritual gift at a prophecy service Sunday evening.
A man with the “really cool” gift of prophecy reportedly moved throughout the room at Wade’s church and read each member’s aura to determine which spiritual gift the Holy Spirit had granted. Wade grew more and more excited as he approached, but was devastated as he learned he just had the “super lame” gift of hospitality.
“Ugh, hospitality, are you serious?” Wade said as the church prophet announced he had detected the Christian virtue as Wade’s supernaturally bestowed talent. “I was really pulling for something cool like tongues or healing.”
“Heck, I’d even take teaching at this point. This sucks,” a downcast Wade added.
At publishing time, Wade had consoled himself by focusing on the fact that he hadn’t gotten something even worse, like giving.
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