HERMITAGE, PA—Unsuspecting youth attending Inferno Church’s “Youth Fun Night” advertised to be “packed with cosmic bowling, games, food, and fun” were ambushed with a two-hour sermon Tuesday night, as the lengthy message and altar call were somehow left off the event details listed on thousands of fliers the church had distributed throughout the community.
Inferno’s youth group, Ember Youth, had set up the night in an attempt to “do life together” with the unchurched in their community. Pastor Jimmy Barnes designed and printed the fliers for the event himself—but somehow forgot to mention that smack in the middle of the “fun and wacky” proceedings would be a fiery two-hour sermon followed by a high-pressure altar call.
“I don’t really know what happened,” a youth named Chelsea said. “I was all hyped up, playin’ Mario Kart and chillaxin’ with my sistas, then all of a sudden this older dude starts yelling into the microphone about getting saved and stuff, telling us to repeat after him, which I did because I got the vibe that I wouldn’t be allowed to leave if I didn’t, like for real.”
Pressed for comment, Pastor Jimmy told reporters he was as surprised as anyone else. “Wow, really? We forgot to mention that on the flier? Ugh, man—whoops! Mistakes happen, I guess.”
In a bid for transparency and authenticity, Barnes confirmed that going forward, he would make sure to include any teaching, worship, love offerings, or altar calls on any advertisements for upcoming events—unless it somehow slips his mind.