WOODSTOCK, ME — In the latest in a string of high-profile but controversial episodes of his popular show on social media platform X, Tucker Carlson interviewed a guest who made the surprising suggestion that the Avengers were the real villains in the Infinity War.
The shocking claim was made during Carlson's fascinating conversation with intergalactic despot Thanos, who alleged that he was only acting in the best interests of all life in the universe in general and Earth specifically when he sought to eliminate half of the planet's human population.
"Much of what you've been taught is misinformation," Thanos said as he sipped coffee in Carlson's home. "I know much has been said about my supposed ‘attempts' to ‘annihilate human civilization' and all that, but I was really just wanting to help humans and your planet. It's those awful Avengers who were the real problem. Keeping me from creating an exquisite utopia here for mankind. They're the bad guys."
Carlson appeared both intrigued and blown away by Thanos's revelation. "This is mind-blowing," he said after hearing Thanos's story. "If what you're saying is true — and I have no reason to think otherwise — then everything we've been told about the Infinity War is a lie. These Avengers — quite possibly agents of the Deep State, I might add — are not to be trusted. Thank you, Thanos, for bringing the truth to light."
At publishing time, Carlson's team was reportedly in discussions to travel to the distant planet of Coruscant to record an episode with Emperor Palpatine that would finally uncover the truth about the evil Rebel Alliance.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
