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Tucker Carlson Diagnosed With Resting Baffled Face

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Doctors informed author and political commentator Tucker Carlson Monday that, tragically, he has been diagnosed with Resting Baffled Face.

Pulling up a recent clip from Carlson’s hit show Tucker Carlson Tonight on his tablet, the doctor pointed out the clear RBF symptoms apparent in the host’s face. 

“Look, anytime you’re not talking, do you see the bewildered expression on your face?” the doctor reportedly said. “Head cocked, brow furrowed, mouth slightly opened as if you’re utterly stupefied by what you’re seeing or hearing: these are classic indications of Resting Baffled Face.

The doctor informed Carlson that he had “one of the most advanced cases of RBF he’d ever seen,” according to sources.

As doctors explained his diagnosis, Carlson reportedly listened intently, a befuddled, mystified look on his face.

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