Politics U.S.
Trump Wins 31st Consecutive 'Employee Of The Month' Award At White House

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a small ceremony in the West Wing of the White House, officials pulled down a curtain revealing the portrait of this month’s winner of the White House’s Employee of the Month award, and for the 31st consecutive time, the winner was President Donald Trump.

“In your face!” Trump shouted at janitor Steve Thompson, who many say had upped his toilet scrubbing game in an attempt to win the award, which comes with a $30 gift certificate for Dave & Busters.

Trump started the Employee of the Month award as soon as he became president in an effort to motivate various staff members of the White House, but so far he has been the only one to win it. “I’m doing a tremendous job,” Trump told his staff as he hung another portrait of himself on the wall. “No one comes close to doing as good a job as me. Look at jobs. Look at the economy. Once again, I really deserve this award.”

The race is already on for winning next month’s award. White House tour guide Ginger Warner is said to be working on new jokes to make her tours extra memorable, while President Donald Trump is said to be planning a new trade deal and maybe a war.

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