WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a small ceremony in the West Wing of the White House, officials pulled down a curtain revealing the portrait of this month’s winner of the White House’s Employee of the Month award, and for the 31st consecutive time, the winner was President Donald Trump.
“In your face!” Trump shouted at janitor Steve Thompson, who many say had upped his toilet scrubbing game in an attempt to win the award, which comes with a $30 gift certificate for Dave & Busters.
Trump started the Employee of the Month award as soon as he became president in an effort to motivate various staff members of the White House, but so far he has been the only one to win it. “I’m doing a tremendous job,” Trump told his staff as he hung another portrait of himself on the wall. “No one comes close to doing as good a job as me. Look at jobs. Look at the economy. Once again, I really deserve this award.”
The race is already on for winning next month’s award. White House tour guide Ginger Warner is said to be working on new jokes to make her tours extra memorable, while President Donald Trump is said to be planning a new trade deal and maybe a war.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.