WASHINGTON, D.C. — As hostilities between the United States and the Iranian regime flared up again in recent days, President Donald Trump warned Iran that his next Truth Social post would include even more exclamation marks.
Following another round of military strikes over tensions in the Strait of Hormuz, Trump stressed that his use of exclamation marks would only increase from this point, urging the regime to back down or face far more exclamatory punctuation.
"They don't want that, believe me," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. "We've already destroyed them. Completely. They're wiped out. They're not even a country anymore, if you can believe it. They don't exist, which is why they're still firing missiles at us. But they'll learn very quickly. They'll surrender again, just like they have many other times since the war started. Nobody has gotten them to surrender more times than I have. That's why they're still fighting. If they don't give up, I'll send out a Truth Social post with far more exclamation marks than anyone has ever seen, probably in history. Far more than Biden ever would have used."
When pressed on the matter, Trump explained that his use of exclamation marks would eventually seal the victory for the U.S. "They're very effective, exclamation marks," he continued. "A line with a dot under it. Like an upside-down lowercase ‘i.' It gets everyone's attention. The more of them you use, the more serious it is. And I know how to use them better than anyone."
At publishing time, Democrats had blamed Trump's overuse of exclamation marks for the escalation of the war.
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
