WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has announced that America will try a brand new, never-before-tried strategy of taking over a country in the Middle East.
Pundits across the political spectrum hailed the totally innovative idea, confident that the plan will work out to perfection with no issues whatsoever.
"I don't know why no one has ever thought of this before. It's so smart and so simple," explained President Trump. "Everyone will be so happy to have America in Gaza, they love us there. We will build a big, beautiful nation in no time, there will be so much democracy and freedom, no one will believe it."
The plan's utter brilliance left the crowd stunned, completely overcome with awe. "How has no one tried this before?" wondered Middle East historian Daniel Bingham. "The solution, glorious in its simplicity, has been staring us in the face this entire time. America simply takes over part of the Middle East and runs it! I cannot wait to see how beautifully this works out."
At publishing time, Trump had announced that he would appoint George W. Bush as strategic coordinator to carry out his amazing new plan.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
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