WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump unveiled his plan to balance the federal budget by introducing a nation-wide swear jar for the country's Democrats.
With potty-mouthed liberal cursing at an all-time high, the Congressional Budget Office estimated that at ten bucks per cuss, the swear jar will easily wipe out this year's projected $1.9 trillion deficit.
"It's an amazing plan, thought up by me, your favorite President," said Trump. "These Democrats, they have such filthy mouths, can you believe it? All they do is shout these terrible things on television and cry, boo-hoo. So now they will have to put money in a swear jar, and maybe the Democrats will finally do something good for America for once. I will keep making America great, they will keep cussing about it, and we can all watch the deficit go down. It's going to be so beautiful, believe me."
Stephen Colbert issued a response to Trump's announcement, but the Bee cannot print what he said, as we are a Christian establishment.
At publishing time, Democrats had announced they would still keep cussing as they were certain they were only a few 'F-bombs' away from stopping Trump once and for all.
Starbucks employees are fed up and taking matters into their own hands.
