FEASTERVILLE, PA — President Donald Trump returned to the McDonald's in Pennsylvania, where he previously worked, to boost the country's lackluster employment rate after the release of less-than-optimal July jobs numbers.
Having worked there before, Trump was able to seamlessly slip back onto the staff and work some shifts here and there in an attempt to add some much-needed juice to the nation's employment figures.
"Here's one more guy in the workforce, the best guy, they say," Trump told reporters as he paused briefly between customers. "That jobs report was so bogus. Totally rigged. Things are so great. The jobs numbers are going up, one beautiful fry cook at a time."
Trump rolled up his sleeves and put on his red polo shirt, and was seen working the fryer and the counter while talking to reporters at the franchise location north of Philadelphia.
"I can't talk too long, I've got to finish these orders before the end of my shift, and then I have to take a call to broker a peace deal between Pakistan and India," Trump said. "Those jobs numbers were ridiculous. I fired the lady who made them up. She's gone. Nasty woman. Lots of people have jobs. Not her, but lots of people, believe me."
At publishing time, Trump had reportedly told Secretary of State Marco Rubio that he needed to pick up four more roles in the administration to help boost employment numbers.
Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification.
