WASHINGTON, D.C. — It's the custom of every president to build a presidential library, but President Donald Trump has announced he is going to buck that convention.
"No one goes to libraries anymore," Trump told the press. "They're just a place for homeless people to use the internet. That's why I'm building something modern that people would actually want: a truckasaurus."
Trump then unveiled his plans for an official presidential truckasaurus — a giant robot made from parts of trucks in the shape of a Tyrannosaurus rex with a large presidential seal on it. He then showed numerous images — presumably AI-generated — of it using its massive jaws to rip apart cars and people.
"Now when people want to celebrate my tremendous presidency — which is getting better every day," Trump said, "they can just go watch my presidential truckasaurus stomp around and eat cars. Everyone is going to love it — you're going to want to bring the kids. So much better than a library. And no one is going to shush you here. You're supposed to be loud and cheer."
One of the first places Trump says he is planning on unleashing his presidential truckasaurus is in Chicago where it will attack the Barack Obama Presidential Library which Trump describes as looking like "the headquarters for the Legion of Doom."
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
