WASHINGTON, D.C.—Once again, Democrats seem obsessed with impeaching President Donald Trump. This time the reason they’re clinging to is that Trump recently set fire to and burned down an International House of Pancakes.
“Yeah, I burnt down an IHOP. Who cares?” Trump told the press. “Where’s the crime? How are they going to impeach me over that?” Trump went on to explain that when the Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution, they never envisioned someone being impeached over burning down an IHOP, as IHOPs did not exist in the 18th century.
To further show he had nothing to hide, Trump released the security footage from the IHOP. It shows Trump getting enraged that the IHOP ran out of blueberry syrup and then fashioning and throwing a molotov cocktail. The video ends with him laughing maniacally as the place burns around him. “It’s just a video of someone getting breakfast,” Trump said about the footage. “What are the Democrats going to impeach me for? Liking berry-flavored syrup? That’s the do-nothing Democrats for you.”
Most Republicans have rallied behind the president. “They’re impeaching for fire now?” said Senator Lindsey Graham. “Are they going to impeach a president every time he lights a match? This is ridiculous.”
Senator Mitt Romney, the notorious RINO squish who couldn’t even win an election against Barack Obama, had harsh words for the president, though. “It just doesn’t seem presidential to burn down an IHOP,” he said. “Or to even go to one, for that matter.”
Nancy Pelosi has announced the House will start an impeachment inquiry into Trump's burning down an IHOP, but perhaps sensing that’s rather thin, she says they are adding other frivolous charges to the inquiry, such as when Trump drove a presidential limo into a Taco Bell.