WASHINGTON, D.C. - Trump has been reinstated as president so Democrats in Congress can be sure the impeachment trial will be constitutional.
Trump will resume serving as president effective immediately so that Democrats can vote on the article of impeachment filed against him.
"We must make Trump president again so we can constitutionally impeach him again," said Chuck Schumer. "It's the only way to be sure. Normally, we don't care about the Constitution, of course, but when you're talking about impeaching Trump, we have to make sure we get it just right."
Democrats everywhere approved of the move, saying they have had nothing to live for since Trump left office last week.
"I had all these protest signs and nothing to protest," said Portland-area BLM activist Jacob Brier excitedly as he got on his gas mask. "We tried firebombing the local DNC headquarters, but it just wasn't the same. Sure, we could protest Biden starting new wars, but it's more fun to protest war under a Republican president. Feels more righteous-y."