Trump Promises That If Reelected He Will Turn Fauci Into A Piñata And Let Every American Take One Whack
Politics · Mar 18, 2022

MAR-A-LAGO, FL - In a speech this week, Trump hinted strongly that he will run for reelection in 2024. He then ginned up excitement for his potential campaign by promising that if re-elected, he will turn Fauci into a piñata and let every American take one good whack at it.

"Dr. Fauci! What a beauty that guy is huh? You all don't like him, do you? No, I didn't think so! Fauci - not the brightest. Some might even say he's a loser idiot. Some are saying that," said Trump as the crowd cheered with delight. "We're gonna turn him into a piñata! A big, beautiful piñata. Then every American will get to take a nice big swing at it with a stick! How do you like that?"

The thousands of supporters in the crowd then stood to their feet and roared their approval.

Pollsters reported that support for a second Trump term increased 322% in the hours after Trump's promise to let everyone beat up a paper mache likeness of Dr. Fauci with sticks. Trump then followed that up with a promise to put Mitt Romney in a giant county-fair dunk tank and let every American get three throws.


Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

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