WASHINGTON, DC — Democrats have boldly declared President Trump to be scared of debating, just a month after their last candidate was forced to quit politics forever after a debate with Trump.
"After our candidate called off the second debate and quit the campaign entirely, now Donald Trump wants to negotiate a new debate with our new candidate. What a chicken!" said Democratic strategist Ben Marlow. "We call on Donald Trump to debate our current candidate, which we reserve the right to switch out if the next debate goes poorly for us. Your move, Donald!"
The DNC has also accused Trump of cowardice after the former President questioned ABC's decision to insert the phrase "Slay, queen!" into all moderator questions for Vice President Harris. "As the party led by a man who quit in shame after being strong armed by Nancy Pelosi, let me just say that Trump needs to man up," said Marlow. "Now he wants to re-negotiate the debate after we replaced our candidate with a woman who has never received a primary vote? Sounds like a scaredy-pants to me."
As of publishing time, Trump had agreed to debate Harris a week earlier than the originally scheduled debate, which Harris declined in a bold and brave example of standing her ground.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
