WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an explosive meeting at the White House with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, President Donald Trump sought to make sure it never happens again by hanging a sign up that reads "You must be this tall to receive foreign aid."
The sign, which prominently displayed a red line indicating the required height a world leader must be to receive U.S. funding, was placed prominently on display in the Oval Office next to a painting of John Adams.
"I'm sorry, you must be at least 68 inches tall to receive foreign aid without a guardian present," Trump told reporters who asked him about the sign. "I don't trust short people. They get by with a lot."
While critics argued that the new sign was a bit of an eyesore in the historical Oval Office, it was hailed by others as an important step in streamlining foreign relations.
"It is not unusual for a president to demand preconditions before agreeing to meet with a nation's leader. Trump is simply adding one more condition: height," White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt explained. "As such, President Trump will not be meeting with Zelenskyy again. He's simply not tall enough. Maybe he can try again in a year after he's grown."
At publishing time, Zelenskyy returned to the White House for further negotiations but had to stay in the "kiddie zone" with the other little diplomats.
An elite force from DOGE uncovers the most absurd waste of taxpayer dollars.
