WASHINGTON, D.C.—Bragging about his father's great accomplishments in a press conference with NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg, President Trump claimed that Fred Trump works at Nintendo and gets him free games and stuff "all the time."
"My dad totally works at Nintendo," he said. "Best father ever, really good father. I got an advance copy of Metroid Prime 4 back at my place. First one ever made. The game's not even done yet but Dad made sure they got me a copy." When reporters asked if they could play Metroid Prime 4 with him, he became defensive. "No, it's uh, my dad told me not to show it to anybody or I could get in a lot of trouble."
Trump said he always gets free games, free Nintendo systems, and all kinds of perks because his dad works there. He also has the inside scoop on a lot of upcoming Nintendo news. For instance, Trump claimed that he's going to be a playable character in a Smash Bros. update because of his connections with his dad, "who definitely works for Nintendo."
Fact-checkers quickly disputed the claim, pointing out that no "Fred Trump" is currently listed as working at Nintendo of America, and also that Fred Trump has been dead for 20 years.
The president responded by saying, "Nuh-uh!" and "Just you wait and see. I'll prove all you losers wrong."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.