OTTAWA - Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly fled his residence at Rideau Cottage this morning, sneaking past a small fringe minority of 50,000 racist truckers while wearing the perfect disguise: blackface.

The escape was first discovered when his wife entered his bedroom and discovered a dummy where her husband would normally be. A recorder was playing a loop of him talking about abortion and non-binary indigenous culture which he often does in his sleep, so she almost didn't notice.

According to sources, an empty container of shoe polish sat on a nightstand next to the bed.

Justin Trudeau, who has received criticism for tyrannical COVID restrictions and vaccine mandates, deftly avoided facing his constituents, blending into the crowd by applying a healthy coat of blackface to look like a fabulous sultan of India. The perfect disguise.

The trucker convoy has not changed its plans. "I'm pretty sure he's not the only hoser that runs Canada," said Rick Dubois. "We're going to hit up the House of Commons and see if they can do us a solid and give us our freedoms back, eh?"

At publishing time, Trudeau was detained by mounties after being pulled over for driving while black.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.