THE GREAT WHITE NORTH—A new development may provide some context in the controversy over recently surfaced photos showing Canada’s prime minister in brown skin, according to sources close to Justin Trudeau. While the progressive prime minister “deeply regrets” many of the choices he made during the time those photos were taken, some new details may help critics come to an understanding.
According to childhood friend “Smokey,” Trudeau used to be known as “Corn Pop,” and was a “bad dude” who ran around with “a bunch of bad boys.”
One day, Corn Pop and Smokey were hanging at the community pool/hockey rink when a white lifeguard named Joey B scolded Corn Pop for not following the rules. The incident escalated to the point where Corn Pop and the gang waited outside by Joey’s moose with razors, ready to "cut that cracker down." Joey B came out with a sharpened icicle, ready for action, but instead of an altercation, something happened: Joey apologized for making a derogatory comment about Corn Pop’s ethnic hair.
Smokey recalls how this moment transformed Corn Pop’s life, teaching him the power of friendship and forgiveness. From that day forward, Corn Pop was determined to become prime minister of the most powerful country ever to be adjacent to the greatest country on earth.
Many of Trudeau’s supporters hope this new information will shed light on the transformation this progressive leader has gone through, and give hope to others that if an African-Canadian gangster from the projects can become a popular, white, liberal prime minister, then maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.