WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a touching moment of clarity this week, personnel from the Department of Homeland Security Disinformation Governance Board realized that the true disinformation they've been looking for was inside them all along.
"All of my life, I've been searching for disinformation, only to find out that everything I've been looking for was within me from the very beginning. So ironic!" said former Disinformation Czar Nina Jankowicz. "At last, my long journey has brought me full circle, right back to the source of disinformation that was under my nose this entire time. I was the one I was looking for!" Jankowicz then turned and wiped away a single tear.
Sources say the Disinformation Board is being shut down, having completed its 3-week mission to find the source of disinformation. The government will now return to censoring and silencing opposition in secret as they've always done.
According to eyewitnesses, Jankowicz and Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas turned out the last lights in the DGB building, turning around one final time to look on their work with fondness and reflect on how our strange journeys often take us right back to where we started. "Goodbye, old friend. You've taught me so much," said Mayorkas before turning and walking into the sunset.
According to sources, Jankowicz has been offered a full-time job fact-checking memes for Snopes.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: