SAGINAW, MI — In what witnesses could only describe as embarrassing, a ‘total noob' at board game night entirely forgot that you can't sell coal during the canal era unless you can trace a contiguous network of canal link tiles to an active coal market.
Before the mortifying faux pas, everyone had excitedly gathered with anticipation to play the crowd-pleasing Brass: Birmingham, one of the group's favorite games which tells the story of competing entrepreneurs in England's West Midlands during the industrial revolution between the years of 1770-1870.
Brass has been described as a heavy-weight economic tabletop game in which players build industries and create networks of canals and rails while managing resources like coal, iron, and beer. The game did begin smoothly as each player picked their player characters.
"I'll be Sir Henry Bessemer!"
"Oh man, I wanted to be Bessemer! Well, I guess I can be George Stephenson of 'Stephenson's Rocket' fame."
"That's fine with me, I just want to be Isambard Kingdom Brunel!"
After all the historical figures had been assigned, which have no real gameplay function, gameplay began. Players started building their various industries, such as cotton mills, coal mines, and iron works, as well as the canals linking their networks to each other and to active markets.
"Now I will play this card to build a level 2 coal mine in Coalbrookdale," began the player otherwise known as Isambard. "And that produces 3 coal which will immediately go to the active market in Shrewsbury, which will give me a nice immediate boost of £8 sterling based on the current market price. Then for my second action — "
"Wait," piped up the player now known as Sir Henry Bessemer. "There's no canal link to Shrewsbury. You have to sit on that coal, my friend!"
Unfortunately for Isambard, Bessemer was right. Even though visually Shrewsbury is right next to Coalbrookdale, it requires a canal link to bring the coal to the active market. Isambard was devastated, as now he had sunk his last 15 pounds sterling as well as one iron into building a level 2 coal mine. The sad, pathetic loser was now left completely stuck, after having mentally prepared for the influx of cash to pay for his second move.
"Oh, no. No, no, no," said the embarrassing noob, glumly sinking into a pit of remorse and shame. "I am ruined."
At publishing time, Isambard Kingdom Brunel was deemed the 'Coal-ossal Failure' for the night for his inability to plan his industrial developments properly.
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