Check out this sweet life hack, my church brethren! Or... should I say "faith hack?" Yes, it's true. If you volunteer for the Parking Lot Ministry at your local church, then you'll never heave to hear another sermon again.
Let's break down how the hack works. First, you sign up for the Parking Lot Ministry. Then, you go to church on Sunday, but instead of sitting through a sermon -- you get to stand outside! There are no sermons outside (we checked). All you have to do is help people park and then walk old ladies to the church entrance. And you get to wear a vest! Cool!
But wait, aren't sermons good? Sure! But they're also long and boring sometimes. Plus, it's so pretty outside right now. You can get out in the fresh air, serve the Lord, and get out of having to sit through the sermon, all in one fell stroke. What a deal!
So go outside, get some sunshine, and get those traffic batons waving. Then, when the church elders explain that you're supposed to only volunteer to be in the parking lot once per month and otherwise be inside church, just pretend to be deaf and run away.
You're welcome.
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