It's important for Christians to live a life of charity, but it's, like, really hard. Wouldn't it be great if you could support the poor without putting any effort or self-sacrifice into it? Now there are ten ways!
Sort of support the poor with these great methods:
- Send thoughts and prayers: You don't even have to get out of bed!
- Yell at them to get a job: This will motivate them to become productive members of society.
- Vote for high taxes, which will totally go to the poor: This may appear to perpetuate the homeless crisis, but that just means it's working.
- Have your butler do it: He knows tons of poor people.
- Give a "crying face" react when you see something about poor people on social media: This awards you with at least 5 faith/works points which can be exchanged in Heaven for a small prize.
- Make eye contact with the homeless and quietly mouth, "I'm sorry," while stopped in traffic: Sometimes they just need to know you care.
- Start tracking your carbon emissions for proper taxation: Helping the earth is literally the same as helping the poor we think.
- Donate your unwanted and about-to-expire canned goods to charity: Ugh, lima beans!
- Pay a kid to mow your lawn: Kids are very poor.
- Say, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled": Problem solved.
Stick to these tried and true methods to become the most benevolent person around! Or, you could consider actually doing something that matters. But that sounds hard.
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DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions