GRAPEVINE, TX — Local toddler Harlan Carter confidently insisted to his mother that he absolutely did not need to go potty before getting in the car for a two-hour drive.
Carter's mother asked repeatedly whether he might need to potty just once more before getting into his car seat and driving to her sister's house, but Carter reassured her that he'd just gone and was good to go.
UPDATE — OH NO THE PEE-PEE IT'S COMING OUT HERE IT COMES WHERE IS THE POTTY WE NEED IT NOW!
"I asked! I asked, and you said no!" cried Carter's mother vainly. "We're stuck on the highway, and there's no place to pull over. Can you hold it just five minutes? Why didn't you tell me?"
In response, Carter explained that he no longer needed to go potty as the pee-pee was now mostly on his new pants and the stack of books sitting on the floor below his car seat.
At publishing time, Carter had arrived at his aunt's house in the buff and ready to hop in the shower.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
