WASHINGTON, D.C.—After the earth-shattering success of Olivia Rodrigo's White House vaccine promotion, Biden has announced he will be inviting teen pop sensation and performer of "MMMBop", Hanson to the White House.
"I'll tell you what, those three young ladies with the long hair might be even prettier than that Olivar Romeo chick!" said Biden to a roomful of adoring press. "I've been sniffing out a vaccine promotion opportunity like this for a while now, and I think The Hansonettes really fit the bill!"
According to aides, the plan was to have the band stand behind the White House press podium and say something like "Please get vaccinated," or "Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose, you can plant any one of those, but the most important thing is to wear your mask! MMMBop! Ba duba dop!"
Unfortunately, Biden lost his temper when instead of Hanson, three random men in their mid-30s showed up.
"Where's Hanson? What did you do with them? Where's your hair? DID YOU EAT HANSON?" Biden yelled before quickly being sedated and dragged off stage.
According to sources, the vaccination rate among women in their 30s climbed to 100% immediately as a result of the promotion.