MARIS, KS - Thousands attending an after-church potluck at Grace Baptist Church Sunday were miraculously fed, in spite of only five dinner rolls and two tuna casseroles having been contributed to the event, according to stunned witnesses.
Only two families remembered to bring dishes, despite the event having been advertised for the preceding four Sundays, but the full church membership of 2,000 remembered to show up to eat the food.
As Pastor John said grace and began to split the five dinner rolls Bill Redford had contributed and cut the two tuna casseroles Mrs. Garcia brought, a miracle happened: the food did not diminish, but rather multiplied, allowing all 2,000 in attendance to be fed, sources claim. Passing the food to the deacons for distribution among the people, Pastor John calmly continued dividing the store-bought dinner roles and undercooked homemade tuna casserole for close to an hour, until everyone had had his fill.
"It was a miracle, plain and simple," one teary-eyed attendee said later. "When we all lined up and grabbed a paper plate, I was absolutely sure only three or four people would be able to eat, but it lasted and lasted and lasted."
Witnesses even claimed the giant orange Gatorade cooler miraculously continued to dispense watered-down red Kool-Aid long after it should have been depleted.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that twelve giant glass dishes of tuna casserole covered in aluminum foil were left over after the event.