Therapist Working With Chewbacca On Alternative Coping Mechanisms Besides Pulling People's Arms Out Of Socket

Health · May 29, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Therapist Working With Chewbacca On Alternative Coping Mechanisms Besides Pulling People's Arms Out Of Socket

KASHYYYK — A therapist working with famed Star Wars icon Chewbacca told his colleagues this week that he was trying to teach the Wookiee how to deal with his anger issues in more constructive ways that don't involve ripping people's arms off.

Dr. Aris Thorne, a licensed galactic psychotherapist, confirmed on Friday that he had begun intensive cognitive behavioral therapy with Chewbacca to address the Wookiee's well-known anger issues. Thorne admitted that the therapy intensified after a routine game of holochess resulted in an Imperial IT technician losing both arms.

"We are focusing on de-escalation techniques," Dr. Thorne said. "When the Dejarik board doesn't go his way, or a hyperdrive motivator malfunctions, we want Chewie to use his words, not the brute physical force that once terrified Grand Moff Tarkin's Death Star prison staff."

Progress has been slow but measurable. Thorne noted that during their last session, when asked how he felt about the destruction of Kashyyyk, Chewbacca successfully utilized a "stress Porg" instead of dismembering a nearby protocol droid.

At publishing time, the therapy session was abruptly cut short after Thorne accidentally beat the Wookiee in a game of Sabaac, forcing the doctor to quickly implement his own alternative coping mechanism of running for his life.


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