NEW YORK, NY — Hosts of the daytime talk show The View completely shut down Republican candidate Tim Scott's claim of tremendous racial progress in America by donning Klan hoods, sources say.
"I believe this country has made tremendous progress in race relations," began Tim Scott as the hosts suddenly pulled out white pointy hoods and put them on their heads. "Hey — what are you doing? What's going on here?"
"These hoods prove once and for all that America is still horrifically racist," exclaimed Sunny Hostin through her tiny eye holes. "If you knew anything about growing up as a black man in America, you'd agree with us!"
The hosts then began hurling racial slurs at the confused Senator while the audience clapped, as the signs telling them to clap had just turned on.
"You're a bit too successful and uppity for your own good, Tim," said Whoopi Goldberg. "You're supposed to be terrified of racism and white supremacy! Shame on you!" The hosts then began to chant while lighting a cross on fire.
At publishing time, the controversial episode had doubled Scott's Republican primary poll numbers from 1% to 2%.
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