Every election, The Babylon Bee editorial board sees fit to endorse the very best choice for the nation. In 2016, back before Seth Dillon bought the site and stopped us from doing Christian satire, we endorsed Kirk Cameron. In 2018, we endorsed the cast of The West Wing for Congress. This was ultimately a mistake because it turns out they are actors and not actual politicians. Oura culpa.
This year, we are taking the unprecedented step of endorsing someone who's not even running: that lady who screamed during Trump's inauguration.
We feel that this hopelessly triggered androgynous human yelling at the sky in an act of protest against some perceived persecution is the perfect encapsulation of the modern Democratic Party, and thus, she would be the ideal candidate to take on President Trump in 2020.
While others only have empty policy proposals and expensive healthcare plans, Screaming at Sky Lady has the ideal solution for everything: just screaming at the sky. Other candidates' ideas could harm the country and send us plummeting into a socialist nightmare. Screaming at the sky, by way of contrast, never hurt anyone and is fun to watch.
Or take an issue like the border crisis: President Trump wants to build a hateful wall. Other Democrats want to welcome immigrants with open arms. Screaming at the Sky Lady will just scream at the sky. The end result is the same, of course, but again, at least we'll get to laugh instead of addressing the issue.
Also, just think about how fun the presidential debates would be.
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