Tearful Baseball Fan Asks God Why Ohtani Has To Play For Dodgers
Sports · Sep 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — A tearful baseball fan reportedly rent his garments and cried out to Heavens while covered in dust and ashes, anguishedly asking God why Shohei Ohtani has to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

"Why, Lord? Why do the wicked prosper?" David Jedson wept as he watched Ohtani hit his 50th homerun, becoming the first player in baseball history to hit 50 home runs and steal 50 bases in a single season.

"Why can't he play for the Rangers, Lord? They're the only team without a Pride Night! May it be your will that he be traded to the Rangers so that the people will know that you are God," he said.

Jedson's family reportedly looked on uncomfortably as the father and husband curled himself into a fetal position and began weeping uncontrollably.

Adding insult to injury, Ohtani's history-making game was also the first MLB game in history to feature three homers and two steals by a player in a single game, as the Japanese superstar finished the game 6-for-6 with 3 homers and 10 RBI. And though Ohtani is a practicing Christian, family man David Jedson is livid.

"I see what you do for Dodgers fans and I want that for me, Lord!" Jedson cried. "I want that for meeeeeee!"

At publishing time, analysts were predicting Ohtani to hit another 20 homers before the regular season concludes next weekend.


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