CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what experts praised as a significant breakthrough in the field of mental health, a new study showed that most cases of depression in men can be solved by reading books about the Civil War while sitting by a roaring fire in the study.
The research data compiled showed a direct link between reading epic historical accounts of Civil War events while sitting by a fire and finding relief from the crushing weight of depression, giving millions of struggling men hope that help was just one book away.
"Reading historical epics next to a crackling fire showed remarkable results," said Professor Ellis Kensington, lead researcher for the team of scientists at Harvard University's Institute of Learning and Knowing Things. "The effects seemed to have been even more prominent among test subjects who smoked a pipe while reading and occasionally looked up from the book and nodded their heads before continuing."
The study confirmed that most depressed men almost immediately came out of their negative mental states upon settling into a cozy high-backed chair in a stately study and cracking open a stirring historical account of America's War of Secession. "It was as though a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders," said formerly depressed man Clifford Martin. "Only a few pages into the book with a roaring fire next to me… I felt like a changed man."
At publishing time, the research team had announced plans to continue its research by studying the effects of hiking through the woods and killing your own dinner on your self-esteem.
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