WEST OF EDEN - A double-blind study conducted by angel scientists has confirmed that 100% of men would eat any fruit given to them by a naked woman. The study seems to suggest that the fall of Adam and Eve was unavoidable.
"Our results were conclusive," said the angel Gabriel, who led the study. "Of the 30,000 male test subjects we studied, we found literally 100% of them would happily accept and eat any piece of fruit handed to them by a woman who was naked. Even in cases where it wasn't fruit - or even edible - all the males gratefully accepted every single object offered and ate it with a dumb look on their face."
Gabriel then motioned to a male test subject on the other side of the glass as he happily chewed on a rubber ball that had just been handed to him by a gorgeous unclothed woman.
"See what I mean?"
Researchers say the results should serve to humble any man who thinks he would have made a different decision than Adam. "According to the science, you would have likely done the exact same thing Adam did," said Gabriel.
Women around the world started to gloat upon hearing the news until Gabriel revealed they also conducted a study showing that 100% of women can be tricked by a talking snake.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
