TEMPLE TERRACE, FL - A new study conducted at Florida College has revealed that the best parenting advice generally comes from single Bible college students who are 19 years old.
"Our findings show that nineteen is when the human brain achieves peak wisdom," reported Dr. Robin Harman, who headed the study. "It is the stage in life when most Bible college students have learned all the answers to life's tough questions. After 19, their wisdom and understanding decrease dramatically."
"I am consistently awed by the deep understanding of child-rearing contained within the tender brain of a Christian University undergrad who has read one or two books," admitted Rutherford Charleston, a local father of five. "I asked our babysitter, who goes to Bible college, what to do with our unruly 2-year-old who was having a tantrum in the middle of the floor. She directed me to her 10-page research paper on raising kids according to the scriptures, and it completely changed my life."
Researchers are recommending that for the sake of child welfare, all parents be replaced with 19-year-old Bible college students as soon as possible.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.