Stores Facing Surplus Of Hair Gel In Wake Of Newsom Disappearance

SACRAMENTO, CA—As California Governor Gavin Newsom approaches the end of his second week in hiding for some strange reason after getting his COVID booster shot, stores and salons in the area are reporting a crippling surplus of hair gel in stock. 

"With Newsom out of the picture, our stores are overflowing with this stuff," said local Ralphs manager Peg Owen. "The governor was responsible for 97% of the hair gel purchases in this state, and his disappearance has left us with way too much inventory." 

According to sources, stores will be selling gel for pennies on the dollar in order to at least clear enough inventory for people to be able to walk down the aisles of their stores. 

Unfortunately, the blow to the hair gel industry may be permanent since according to some reports, the COVID booster made all of Newsom's hair fall out. 


The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!

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