BANGOR, ME — American author Stephen King emerged from the shadows just before dawn Friday to file a copyright infringement claim in federal court. King is arguing that Drag Queen Story Hour violates his copyright around his infamous character Pennywise the Dancing Clown from the novel It — who is also a hideous clown who preys on children.
"These pretenders are clearly using my intellectual property without my permission," King told reporters with the Bangor Daily News. "How else would you explain these people who dress in hideous clown makeup to consume the souls of innocent kids? It's pulled straight from my book!"
The legendary horror author who made his living crafting stories depicting alternate nightmare scenarios where the depravity of man is often more hideous than the monsters that come to consume them has noted that drag queens are making it really hard for him to keep writing.
"How are my books supposed to sell if the gravest nightmares I can conjure cannot hold a candle to a grown man stripping in front of children? What is this world coming to?" said King.
At publishing time, King announced a new sequel to IT where the demon clown pursues his dream of becoming a drag queen.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!