Politics
State Hailed As Progressive Hub Of Technological Innovation Can't Figure Out How To Keep The Lights On

SACRAMENTO, CA—The state of California, home to some of the world’s most innovative technology companies, is struggling to provide a steady flow of electricity to its residents, sources confirmed Monday.

"We will continue to be the most advanced hub of technological progress as soon as we get the power back on here," said Governor Newsom.

Electricity, which first made its debut in 1882, is a luxury Californians have come to rely upon for modern indulgences such as dishwashers, laundry machines, and indoor lighting. A recent heatwave has sparked the need for rolling blackouts throughout the state that is home to Silicon Valley, technology’s most advanced center for research and development.

Experts hope the collective brainpower housed in these technology meccas might be harnessed to solve the crisis. Sources predict these geniuses will one day provide Californians with enough reliable power to toast some bread while their neighbor runs the vacuum cleaner.

Residents of the 49 other, less advanced states hope California’s efforts might benefit them as well, and they have been glued to their televisions and computers around the clock hoping to hear some good news.

There are 64 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.