DALLAS, TX — Southwest Airlines, with a positive reputation for supporting plus-size travelers, has taken a big step in providing robust support for its largest customers. Starting this week, fliers of size will be given a complimentary bed of hay and a feeding trough.
Salt licks will be available to its corpulent flyers for a nominal fee.
"At Southwest Airlines, we value the Twinkie-divergent and the Cheetos-adjacent," said a spokesperson for the airline, "Which is why we now offer free upgrades to the corral section with a cozy bed of hay and feeding trough for passengers with slim-defiant bodies."
The free upgrade, which sits near the back of the cargo hold, will include a crane service to hoist the metabolically deficient customers into their pens through a massive door in the roof of the plane.
At publishing time, members of the blubber-attracted community had vowed to boycott Southwest until every plane was retrofitted with an infinite donut dispenser.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
