PIERRE, SD—In a surprise upset, South Dakota has been named America's best holiday destination. With many lovely tourist destinations across the country being locked down due to COVID, South Dakota came from behind to beat out the other 49 states for the top honor.
"If you want to do really fun holiday things like eating at a restaurant, going for a walk, or having freedom, South Dakota is the place to go," said one travel agent. "Plus they have stuff like buffalo and wide-open fields, so that's pretty cool."
"We're honored, but not surprised," said South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem. "Our state is a wonderful place to visit and we'd love to have you!"
"Don't fall for it," replied Governor Gavin Newsom. "South Dakota is a cesspool of COVID plague. You'll die if you go there. Plus they don't have restaurants like French Laundry. Lame!"
According to sources, Californian refugees are constructing an escape tunnel to South Dakota and hope to be there in time for Christmas.