'So, What's For Dinner?' Asks Teen Boy Immediately After Eating 50,000-Calorie Thanksgiving Meal At 3 PM
Family · Nov 24, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

MACON, GA — According to sources embedded within the Baxter residence, local teenage son Matt Jennings casually asked his mother what she was cooking for dinner just 20 minutes after consuming approximately 50,000 calories at the family's 3 P.M. Thanksgiving dinner.

"We couldn't believe what we were hearing," Aunt Susie reported. "Matt had just finished his fifth helping of Thanksgiving dinner and was in the process of mowing down his third slice of pie when he casually asked ‘So, Mom, what's for dinner tonight?' Several of us were still on our first plate! The whole table fell silent. Where does the boy put it all? I heard his dad had to get a second full-time job just to pay for the family's groceries!"

According to the family's own records, the 15-year-old, 135-lb. boy has been eating non-stop since his thirteenth birthday. "We love him, but he's a freak of nature," his mother, Mary, said. "We keep shoveling food on his plate, but no matter how much he eats, he's starving again 10 minutes later. We're thinking about taking out a second mortgage on the house."

The Baxter family all continued to sit in a collective hushed silence and watched as Matt finished his pie, went back to the appetizer table, and turned it sideways to let all of the cheese, crackers, and vegetables slide down onto his plate.

At publishing time, Matt had given up on getting an answer on dinner from his mom and had ordered a large pizza.


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