Some people have noticed the peculiar formatting Dr. Jordan Peterson began using when posting on X (formerly Twitter), but little have they realized that they are witnessing the emergence of the great haiku poet of modern times.
The Babylon Bee has obtained a sneak peek at some of Dr. Peterson's upcoming tweets:
Rebuking Gender Surgeons
Some doctor you are
An evil bloody creature
Harming young children
Ode to Lobsters
Lobsters, lobsters in
My dreams and in my visions
Claws, all the way down
Black Tie Prison
The tux of patterns
Straight-backed men wear proud, dashing
Straight to the gulag
Mario, My Brother
Little plumber man
Jumps to get the shiny coins
Always out of reach
Lunchtime
Mustard on hotdog
No relish, onion, ketchup
Only need a bun
Not My Star Wars
Last Jedi blew it
Luke Skywalker died so weak
Up yours, Lucasfilm
Where's Ellen?
Dear Elliot Page
You know that's not your real name
Chopped off your best parts
Just a Boy
Filth, trash everywhere
Discarded McDonald's bags
Clean your room, bucko
Cover Model
Bikini fat chick
I'm sorry, not beautiful
Skinny broads for me
Truly the social media posts of a man who wrestles with God. Read them and nod accordingly, even if you don't know what they mean.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
