Christian Living
Seminarian Unable To Locate Bible Among Towering Stacks Of Theology Books

DALLAS, TX—A graduate student at Dallas Theological Seminary confirmed Monday that he is still unable to locate his Bible among the massive piles of books about the Bible surrounding him in his apartment.

The situation apparently came to a head as one Drew Reynolds and a fellow seminarian were engaged in a discussion regarding the leadership models of the New Testament church, as described in the book of Acts and prescribed in the Pauline epistles. When his classmate suggested they stop flipping through books about the Bible and instead just check what the text had to say, Reynolds laughed at first, and kept looking through his supplementary texts and commentaries.

But he quickly realized his friend wasn’t joking. “Oh wait…oh, you were serious? Sure, uh—let me just grab my Bible; it’s right over here underneath my lexicons and—hmm, I could have sworn I left it here last semester after my Greek exam.”

After a three-hour-long scouring of the apartment, the pair was unable to locate Reynolds’ Bible, but were able to reconstruct a full copy of the book of Acts out of quoted portions from the hundreds of commentaries lining the walls of the room.

At publishing time, Reynolds was re-translating his own copy of the Bible out of the original languages utilizing portions of the Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew texts found in his commentaries, as there was no hope of ever locating his English copy of the Scriptures.

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