WASHINGTON, D.C. - With Ketanji Brown Jackson set to take over Justice Stephen Breyer's seat on the Supreme Court today, aides have been hard at work changing all the restroom signs to "gender-neutral" so Jackson doesn't get confused when she has to use the restroom.
"It's important to make accommodations for differently-abled non-biologists like KBJ," said SCOTUS Clerk Michael Qian. "We are excited that Ketanji will not only be here to represent women of color, but people of mental confusion as well."
The clerks will also be hard at work striking all uses of the word "woman" from cases and legal briefings passed to the newest justice, as any use of the word "woman" causes her to start stuttering in confusion and say things like "I'm not qualified for this."
At publishing time, Conservatives called for KBJ to recuse herself from all cases involving women.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!