U.S. — Citizens have begun wondering if the federal government couldn't just buy everyone a Switch 2 if it's already intent on bankrupting us anyways.
With the nation hurtling towards fiscal insolvency at a breakneck pace, Americans figured it couldn't really hurt at this point to spend another $70 billion to get every house a Switch 2.
"Might as well," said local man Luke Remy. "If we're already burning the joint down, what the heck. We should have a little fun on the way down at least. And really, seventy billion is chump change when it comes to our debt. Who would even notice?"
According to estimates, the seventy billion to buy every house a Switch 2 would only accelerate the nation's looming bankruptcy by about two days. "Why on earth do I care if we go bankrupt on Thursday or Saturday? Give me my Switch 2," said local kid Shawn Reese. "If we could maybe not go bankrupt, that would be one thing. We already drove off that cliff. Let's play some MarioKart while we wait to hit the bottom."
At publishing time, the nation had asked if the government could go ahead and throw in a Traeger smoker while they're at it.
Starbucks employees are fed up and taking matters into their own hands.
