U.S. — Scientists announced today that after extensive study, they can now confirm that famed media personality Megyn Kelly has begun aging in reverse.
"She's going full Benjamin Button," said researcher Dr. Mark Stanton. "Somewhere in her forties, Ms. Kelly's aging process completely stopped and has now begun reversing. It's a medical miracle."
Though certain of Kelly becoming younger, scientists remain baffled as to how to explain the mysterious reversal. "There is simply no precedent for this," said Dr. Stanton. "Megyn has clearly descended back into her thirties, will she go into her twenties? Has she literally discovered the fountain of youth? We just don't know what to make of it."
For her part, Kelly has completely dismissed all claims of her actually aging in reverse. "Aw, y'all are just being nice," said Kelly, plainly becoming younger by the minute. "I just eat well and take good care of my skin. I don't know what everyone is making such a fuss about."
At publishing time, Kelly had invited friends over to celebrate her second 35th birthday.
Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.
