Schwarzenegger To Star In 'Terminator' Reboot Where He Goes Back In Time To Make Sure Everyone Is Wearing A Mask
Entertainment · Aug 14, 2021 ·

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Paramount Pictures today announced an exciting new reboot of the Terminator franchise where Arnold Schwarzenegger's eponymous cyborg character is sent from the future to a time before humanity was enslaved. But this time, he's woke, and he'll just tell humans to submit to the government and evil corporations controlling their lives. And he'll patrol the streets making sure everyone is wearing a mask.

"Screw your freedoms," the Terminator tells humanity when he comes from the future this time around. "Come with me if you want to submit to government mandates like a good citizen. Actually, never mind. Just stay home and stay safe." Schwarzenegger goes around from house to house making sure everyone is wearing a mask and locked up in their houses, shooting anyone who does not comply with a shotgun. Sarah Connor is seen going out to get groceries even though she's not vaccinated, and the Terminator just immediately takes her out.

So it's a much shorter movie, but the message is far more societally acceptable in 2021, according to Paramount.

This time, of course, instead of Cyberdyne Systems developing Skynet to fight humanity, the Terminator is developed as a cooperative venture between Blackrock and Microsoft.

Babylon Bee subscriber Dr Conservative Prof contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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