Bible Scholars: Eutychus Actually Leaped Out Window To Escape Church Greeting Time
Scripture · Sep 25, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

ISRAEL - Eutychus was a young man who supposedly fell asleep and tumbled out a window while Paul was preaching, according to the New Testament.

Not so fast, scholars say. Academics working in the Holy Land published their findings Wednesday that Eutychus may have actually flung himself from the window to escape a time of church greeting.

"While common knowledge is that Eutychus fell asleep when Paul approached his 27th sermon point, we now believe that the worship leader asked everyone to take a few minutes and greet one another. Eutychus attempted to flee out the window, not realizing the height of the jump, and died when he hit the ground," said one scholar. "Frankly, it's hard to blame him."

According to the scholars, when Paul resurrected him, he moaned and begged Paul to un-resurrect him so he would not have to make small talk with every single person in the church.


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