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NEW YORK, NY - The College Board is announcing significant changes to its SAT in an effort to remain a relevant measure of college readiness. Starting next year, all test questions related to math, science, and reading comprehension will be replaced by a single coloring page depicting a likeness of Donald Trump and a space to draw devil horns on his head.
"We wanted to boil everything down to the basic essentials of what today's students need to be successful at today's progressive state colleges," said College Board spokeswoman Cynthia Borshvittle. "For most publically-educated students today, literacy and math skills are a useless remnant of a bygone era. Today, we must train our students in one thing, and one thing only: progressive politics. It's all about ideology. Nothing else matters now."
Sources confirmed that the SAT will still require a #2 pencil for completion, and will be graded on a sliding scale based on how disadvantaged or oppressed the student is.
"This is just a first step for us," said Borshvittle. The College Board has plans to further improve its testing in the future by grading students on their ability to pull down statues and throw Molotov cocktails.
In a day when many academic tests are dominated by political agendas, the Classic Learning Test is a breath of fresh air. The CLT helps students succeed by focusing on important areas of study, such as reason, logic, and reading. For a great exam that prepares your children for college, check out the Classic Learning Test here or by clicking below:
