Sarah Sanders Claims Border Patrol Has Captured Entire Army Of Orcs Attempting To Cross Into US
Politics · Jan 8, 2019 ·

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sarah Sanders has drawn criticism for a claim that's being criticized as "outlandish": her recent statement that Border Patrol agents have captured an entire army of Orcs attempting to cross into the US.

"We know that roughly, nearly 4,000 fell servants of Sauron attempted to come into our country illegally last year but were stopped by CPB before they could lay siege to our country," she said. "There may come a day when our southern border shall fail---but it is not this day!"

Journalists from both sides of the aisle pointed out the farfetched nature of Sanders' claim, citing the fact that Orcs typically march from Mordor rather than Mexico, and that they are fictional creatures. Queries with the State Department revealed that zero beings twisted to do Sauron's bidding have been apprehended while trying to enter the country. One man was thought to be an Orc based on his yellow teeth and bad breath but was later revealed to be an Englishman and released.

"Frankly, it seems implausible," one Fox News host said in a rare fact-check of a claim made by the White House. "I could see them maybe capturing a few goblin stragglers or felling one Nazgul steed with a lucky shot, but a whole army? Doubtful."

CNN also criticized Sander's claim, though hosts admitted they simply declared it false before listening to the specifics. "We just default to calling anything she says a lie. We got lucky this time."

Sanders has backpedaled on her claim, now stating the Border Patrol only captured a small raiding Uruk-hai raiding party near El Paso.

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