SPOKANE, WA — Local man Travis Barnes sadly failed to check his phone for one hour, missing out on the entirety of World War III.
Barnes pulled out his phone only to learn that the war had ended, and also that the war had begun.
"Aw, man," sighed Barnes. "I missed the whole dang thing. I've been prepping for this for ages, only to leave my phone in the kitchen for an hour. World wars just aren't what they used to be, I guess. What a shame."
According to sources, Barnes was asked by his wife to come help take down Christmas decorations outside, only to completely miss World War III. "It was over and done by the time I got the lights off the roof," said Barnes. "Maybe I could have caught the tail end of it if my wife hadn't made me take down the yard nativity scene. Darn you, wise men!"
At publishing time, Barnes' liberal neighbor had despondently learned the war was over before he had time to make an "End The War" poster.
Here are our 100% accurate predictions of events that will transpire in 2026.
