NEW YORK, NY—NYPD detectives assisted the FBI in capturing yet another Russian spy Friday morning, having tracked his movements through the city for several weeks. Finally seizing their opportunity, the law enforcement officers apprehended him in front of the apartment he’s been occupying on U.S. soil for the past six months.
Law enforcement pulled up in a vehicle, sirens blaring. The spy took off running, but police were ready: a cop stepped out of an alley and clothes-lined the Russian operative, knocking him to the ground.
The officer picked him up off the ground to restrain him. As the spy attempted to run yet again, his top half popped off, revealing a second Russian spy within. “Aha!” cried the cop. We’ve got you now!” But as another policeman dove to restrain the second spy, his top half also popped off, and a third Russian spy was shown to be nested inside that one.
“Just how deep does the conspiracy go?” FBI agent Derrick Albego said as other operatives worked to see just how many nested Russian spies were inside the original spy. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.”
Police continued to frisk the increasingly small Russian spies, each time discovering the agent was actually just a shell for a tinier one inside of it. At publishing time, the final nested Russian spy was found to contain a miniature robotic Vladimir Putin.