LONDON — Amid the fervor surrounding his profession of faith and recent baptism, comedian/actor Russell Brand's Christianity was called into question after it was revealed that he has not yet memorized the lyrics of DC Talk's "Jesus Freak."
This discrepancy, seen by many mainstream Christians as a vital rite in the conversion process, has led many to suspect that Brand's salvation is not yet assured and will not be until he has "I saw a man with a tat on his big fat belly, it wiggled around like marmalade jelly" committed to memory.
"I'm not buying it," said longtime professing Christian Josiah Smith. "Any Christian worth their salt memorizes ‘Jesus Freak' within the first 24 hours. The fact that the words ‘people say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger that my best friend was born in a manger' aren't already engraved into his brain makes this ‘conversion' suspect at best."
Though Brand has expressed enlightenment and a new spiritual awareness in recent months, many believers agreed that they will not see his profession of faith as genuine until he can recite the lyrics of the DC Talk hit without any assistance. "It's the most tell-tale sign," said another Christian, Clayton Rookstool. "Once he knows it by heart, we'll all accept him as a brother in Christ. Until then? He'll continue to be questioned."
At publishing time, further questions regarding the authenticity of Brand's faith had arisen after people discovered he had still not listened to any Carman albums.
BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW: